03
The dream was stuck in my head. My mind swirled in memories and empty promises. Lies and deceit stampeded it's way to the core of my blood pumper leaving trails of pain and sorrows. I was on my way to meet my long lost sister but I couldn't stay focused on the rendezvous ahead of me. Evangelina was an ex-wife of mine when I was 24. It was barely over a year married when we divorced. I have to admit that it was a wonderful relationship...to start with. It's unbelievable how things can change so quickly and subtle. Relationships tend to go from hearts, candy, and gummy bears, to knives, flying plates, and pills. Probably another reason why I'm currently not in one. So many promises were broken. Promises like telling each other everything; or never letting go when the going gets tough. I can't simply mention every promise ever made because I'd go insane. I'm not sure I even believe in promises anymore anyways. Your word is your word and stick to it. That's what I always say.
It's been three years since the aftermath of probably the lowest I've ever fallen. Yet it continues to haunt my dreams in a similar way the weeds grow on the front lawn. It interrupts my decisions and it brings out an emotion I can't control sometimes. It pokes my scars and destroys the dam that held my tears back. In addition, I've become best friends with something called panic attacks. The world is a wonderful place to live in, isn't it? The past of my problems is the kind of past that can't find a closure. It's learning to live with a disease that makes this such an irritating life style which not only burdens my mind, but also the people close to me. It continuously falls onto their shoulders like the power of the rain smashing against my windshield as I drive 60 mph in a 45 mph zone towards Charlie's BBQ. Suddenly, my palms began to sweat. Why was I so nervous about seeing my sister. I know its been ages ago, but I should be more excited than I am worried. Maybe it was the peanut butter and banana sandwich I had earlier.
I pulled up to a parking spot to see my sister sitting in a booth twirling her straw in her glass with her palm on her left cheek. Staring at her, I could feel the broken spirit she radiated through the glass. I'm not usually too good with these kinds of things. You know, being the psychologist and all. But I have a feeling that this case might end up that way. As I opened my car door, simultaneously, the car next to me did the same thing and crashed against mine. A red mark decided to claim a home on my black door handle. "Great..." I thought to myself. The girl frantically jumped out and said, "Oh my God! I am SO SO sorry!" "It's okay. I'm sure a permanent marker will do the trick." She laughed afterwards as if nothing was wrong anymore. I was actually being serious...After a second of silence, "Alright well goodbye then!" I started to walk towards the door when she yelled, "Wait! Don't you want my information!?" and casually while continuing to walk, I responded with a, "Naaahhh..."
Finally, inside of the restaurant my sister screams across the tables with people, calmly and peacefully eating their food, "You should've gotten her info!! Go on a date or something!" I turned red while apologizing for my sister to the elderly gazing at me while eating their juicy black and tender Pork Rib. I sat down in front of my sister and said, "It doesn't matter. So...nice to see you..." She said nothing as her smile slowly fades and her focus moves to her coffee cup. I wasn't sure what to say next so I jumped to the point. "So, what's wrong?" She looked like she wanted to yell it all out but she just kept stirring her coffee and staring at it as if she was carefully stirring a potion of mass destruction. "Hello!?", I tried again. "So, you can scream across the restaurant but you can't talk to me when I'm a feet or two away from you?"
"..."
"...um...come on sis...why in the world did you..." and that's when she started to talk nervously. "Kai, we have both lived our lives. Opposite from each other but we have both been living a lie. The only difference is that I know it, and you don't."
I was confused. I wasn't sure what she meant by that. So I decided to ask why. "Why?" and then she continued, "Today marks 1 month that I am sober. I've made a bad decision to stay with someone I had hoped would change, but in return, I was the one who changed into the dark lie that he had lived." I gazed at her with an uncanny grin, "Sis, I don't really think you need to worry about anything. I don't even want to be in a relationship." And that is when she ruined my day. "Kai...Kaile isn't even your real name. Mom....well, she isn't your Mom either. Your real name is Dathan Korah. We found you when I was really young." I sat there. Nothing was on my mind besides the color black as I continued to listen to my sister in disbelief. "One night, Mom and Dad were coming back home from a night at the movies. On their way back to the car, they were stopped by a young teen girl. She was shaking with black under her eyes and blood coming down her lips. She yelled and screamed as she pulled out a gun out of one hand saying, 'TAKE HIM! TAKE HIM NOW!! HE DIES OR YOU DIE!!' Dad didn't know what to do besides take you. So he did. We didn't know who she was until Dad tracked her down one day. I don't know how but he found out that she was killed that very night. She was beaten to death by her husband. And well, it turns out, he had a brother. And I am currently living with that brother."
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